Goldilocks & the Three Bears Monkey Style

We spent last week in Sunriver.  Two kids + two parents + two grandparents in one house? = Fun!  Well, for the parents at least.  And the kids had a blast.  The grandparents?  I'm pretty sure they're going to need a vacation to recover from their vacation.  While there were lots of fun times to be had, Goldilocks and the Three Bears as told by my three year old is probably my favorite.  I feel like it was a scene from Saturday Night Live.  I'm not sure but I would not be surprised to see both the monkey and the prince on that show in the future.  They are seriously funny.  How a 14 month old can be funny on a regular basis I'm not sure.  We knew we were in trouble when he was labeled the class clown at 9 months.  Neither are lacking in personality and let me tell you, they know when to use it.  To all the current and future teachers, I apologize in advance.  Just know they were born this way and not a product of bad parenting.  There will be plenty of other things you will be able to blame on bad parenting.  Believe you me.  And on that note, I present the modern 3yo version of the beloved fable.

Monkey:  When are we staying at Sunriver until?
Mama: Saturday.
Monkey: No, I want to stay longer.  Can we stay until Sunday?
Mama:  No, we only have the house until Saturday.
Monkey: What happens after Saturday?
Mama: Other people will probably be coming to stay in the house after we leave.
Monkey: And they'll come in and see us in bed?  And be like (insert monster voice) GET OUT OF THE BED!  And we'll say Ahhhhh, dammit!!

Yes, this story even made her daddy laugh.  And daddy does not find potty mouth humorous at all.  There might be another parent in the house that finds that little three year old voice saying bad words extremely entertaining hence, the use of them in this revised story.

*Side note.  I do not teach said children any of these words.  They may on occasion, say every 10 minutes or so, hear certain words accidentally slip out.  I am not responsible for their astute language abilities and vast vocabulary.

Future Storyteller of America